Five lunatics, two dodgy knees and 'Bradley 'effin Wiggins

Okay so here we are, our third blog with a month of the mission gone and its flown by faster than Bradley Wiggins on speed.

Sat here typing this were finding it hard to believe we've gone from experiencing more rain than the Indian monsoon season to fending off hoards of biting mosquitoes around camp after a sweaty 50 miles hard cycling. This is because we're currently at Nick's penthouse apartment on the French/German border complete with a Sauna, Swimming pool and so much food being consumed that it'd make Rik Waller wince, therefore its hard not to feel like Lord Farquaad of the manor as we gaze over the local hills whilst tucking into a bratwurst sandwich
As most of you will know the Mission Oz team ran into a bit of trouble in the form of 'dodgy knees' which decided to stop Luke and Ste in their tracks. As Jamie, Mac and Sam took the ferry across the channel with Paris in their sights the 'B-Team' i.e Luke and Ste stayed in Ashford in Kent to recieve Physiotherapy treatment from some extremely kind physio's at a huge discount.

*A-Team Perspective*
Meanwhile the A-team were in pursuit to watch the one, the only, Bradley Wiggins compete in the final Time Trial of the Tour de France near Paris. With time on our hands and Bastille day approaching we thought the obvious solution was to 'get on it' with the French for their national celebrations. With our one and only set of going out clothes (the one bomb) waiting for us at the bottom of our panniers we booked into a B+B, sank a few Biere Speciales and headed into the local town with our appearances socially intact after a clean shower and shave. One hour and four laps of the town later it was like a wild west scene with nothing but a lone tumble weed rolling slowly across the town square. Turns out we were one day late for the Bastille day shenanigans. Kebab and bed before midnight it was!

Cracking onto Chartres near Paris we experienced our first rainless day of the mission, yeeeehaarrrrr. So with our gore-tex jackets gladly stuffed back in our panniers we arrived at the local municipal campsite in Chartres meeting up with Jamie's folks. With time to kill we embraced ourselves in some 'missionary down time' whilst we waited for the B-team who were still playing around with knee straps and hot water bottles.

*B-Team perspective*
Right so apparantly we arethe "B Team" and the others are the "A Team" In our opinion the 'A' in team should stand for audacious! Now lets not get personal about it but we dont like jealous people. Its just unfortunate that the "A Team" didnt recieve 1st class physio treatment from Amy and Eve (cheers girls), or the fact that they had to cram themselves into a tent whilst we had ample amounts of space. Enough to swing a cat as the saying goes... Or is it the fact that we won the rock, paper, scissors championships for the speaker?? Or was it the fact that they bought a s**t map of france and hence decided to zig-zag there way from Calais to Chartres haha. Just as a final point, as if the other four points werent damming enough we stumbked upon a barn party! It just so happens that it was the same night they tucked themselves into bed after a failed bastille day party attempt. Congratulations to Charl and Naomi on there engagement, and thank you for the constant supply of champagne and biere from 'Patey Boissons'. We will hold you to your promise of a party on the way home! Anyway enough of the banterous arguments the boys are all back together and morale is as high as ever.

After the amalgamation in Chartres our lives were now focused on one name. You guessed, it Bradley Wiggins. Being avid Mr. Wiggins fans after following him on previous Tour de France visits we couldn't possibly miss this opportunity to see him be the first Brit to don the yellow jersey on the champs elysees in its 109 year history. To see him win the time-trial sent us into a state which can only be likened to the film 'football factory' with various chants and cheering annoying many a french citizen. This was all the day after we had been drinking with a bunch of crazy brummies who, although they didn't take part in the drunken chants about Bradley on our walk back to the campsite, were happy to push Ste (TinTin) naked in a shopping trolley along the road after a dispute with a nightclub bouncer who used the unorthodox bucket water over head tactic to dispell his savage victim. The following day brought cheshire cat-like smiles to our faces after an awesome photo was taken with the team and Bradley before the final run into Paris. If it couldnt get any better tears were brought to our faces as we sang the national anthem at ear piercing volume along with the massive following of Brits all watching Bradley on the podium. Absoloute icing on the cake. Luke who was sporting Bradley like sideboards carefully groomed for weeks in the run up to Paris quotes 'Bradley Wiggins is without question the greatest sportsman ever to grace the universe'. He even admitted after his displeased response to being woke up he had dreamed that he and Bradley had dined together (in dinner suits wearing matching bow ties) with Luke whispering 'sweet nothings' into his ear! It was also nice to meet Steve Brady and Russ Barrow along the tour route who treated us to a restaurant meal and plenty of beers. Two diamond geezers!

After the hype of Bradley and Paris it was time to head east towards Prague. With a five day heat wave blasting over the country it was our first taste of proper sun. This forced us to look for fresh streams to wash off the hundrends (literally) of tiny harvest flies clinging to our sweat soaked bodies. This culminated in a thunderstorm that zeus himself would have shit himself at (videos to come). Cracking on we ticked off our 1000th mile which shortly delievered us to our present location. On the final day to the border tensions were high in the last 5km with the greatly sought after Germany sign which provides bags of braggin rights. But the sign never came and after a destroying the last bit of energy that our legs had to give we soon learnt that a Germany sign didn't exist. Gutted.


We'd also like to take this opportunity to thanks the following people for their outstanding hospitality and generosity. Amy and Eve, top class physio's. Charl, Naomi and the other mad hatters at the barn dance. Jamie's Ma and Pa, thanks for the food! Steve and Russ- Legends. 'The Brummies', unbelievable banter. Nick (another one of Don Richardson's mafia friends) you're a hero. Klaus, thanks for the hospitality, you're house is amazing aswell as your bar!

Finally, a big thanks for all the donations so far and for following our progress. To donate go to www.virginmoneygiving.com

Thanks

The team